Herc's List
by MysticVeil
Summary: Hercules has never been one of those guys that "cared" about a lot of things. So he decides to make them into a list to remind himself that there's still something to fight for and that he's just as human as everyone else.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello there lovely readers :) so I adore Pacific Rim so naturally**** I just had to write a story about it. The parts i****n**_**italics **_**are memories. I may continue this, but I'm not sure yet. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! **

Hercules Hansen never really cared for a lot of things. He grew up with a drunken father and cheating mother, so he never had much "love". Instead he'd get the occasional beating and angry insults from his parents. So, he made himself immune to those emotions he deemed unnecessary. It didn't bother him that his mother never told him she loved him. Or that his father never did anything to show affection. He could deal with it. He's stronger than that. And when you never have something to begin with, you don't miss it. Due to his violent father, he learned to fight and defend himself against the people who angered him or did him wrong, but he also learned to keep his mouth shut when needed. Having a loud mouth that pisses off the wrong people won't get you anywhere in life. Those instincts become even more dominant when he joined the army. The army became his life. Until he met a woman named Angela.

He met Angela in 2002. He had never really known what if feels like to love, but when he saw Angela, he felt... Something. He didn't really know what that was, but it satisfied him and he called it love. Angela was beautiful, with curly blonde hair and soft blue eyes, the same as Chuck's. He remembered when she smiled, the way she'd tilt her head back and close her eyes, her hair would slip off her shoulders and she would cover her stomach with her forearm. He loved it when she did that. He remembers one particular time when she did it. It was December and Chuck, only five at the time, was helping her put ornaments on the Christmas tree. Herc had never been one for Christmas tree decorating, so he just leans against the door frame and watches them. Eventually, Chuck tries to reach for a branch that's just a little too far away from his reach. He stares at it, his little face screwing in frustration. Angela laughs, her head tilts back and her arm goes across her stomach. The moment is short because Chuck begins to whine and she has to pick him up so he can reach the branch. He loved the feeling he got when he was around those two. However, he should have known it wouldn't last. He should have known he would have lost one of them eventually. And it just so happened to be her.

Angela is long dead now. She died in 2014, when Chuck was eleven. Neither of them really talk about her, but Herc knows that Chuck has a picture of her in his room. And Chuck knows that Herc has her letters saved. They're wrapped up in one of her silky pink ribbons and hidden away in a drawer. Neither of them will forget her, but she's still an unapproachable subject that isn't talked about. But that subject brings him to Chuck. So, yes he definitely did care about one thing: Chuck. The kid may make him want to yank the hair out of his head, but he loved him none the less. After that... He didn't really know what he cared about. Protecting humanity against these monsters from the sea? Yeah, that's one. Ok, he has a list now.

1) Chuck.

2) Protecting the Earth.

Ok. A sad, little list but a list none the less.

He had thought about this list for some time now. It had begun to worry him that he generally could say he didn't have a lot of things to care about. But he has two things on it, that's a start, right? Sure it is.

Herc leans back in the cold metal chair, trying to keep Max from slobbering all over his boots. He shoves the fifty pounds of fat away from him, but the ridiculous dog only returns and with a snuffle, he flops down on Herc's toes.

"I think you broke something, ya mutt." Herc mumbles and tries to move the dog, who shows no interest of moving, instead rolls on his back and lets his stubby legs flop over his head. He snuffles again, clearly wanting a stomach rub. Herc rolls his eyes and before he can oblige to the dog, he hears a familiar voice.

"Ah, Max. You're the cutest thing ever." She says. The woman comes up and kneels, taking Max's flabby face and begins rubbing it. She kisses his head and then looks up at Herc.

"Hey there, kid." He says. The corners of her mouth twitch, almost allowing herself to smile but then stops herself at the last moment. She let's go of Max and stands up, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Did you hear about the new pilot that Stacker's bringing in?" she asks him.

Herc nods, but takes a moment to rub Max's forehead before answering. "I've seen him before. He's a good one." He responds, thinking back to his time with Raleigh Becket. The woman nods and then begins to walk away before Herc grabs her arm and pulls her back. She didn't answer him with some witty comeback or give him some order. That's unusual. And that means something's wrong with her.

"What's wrong, kid?" he asks her. She opens her mouth to answer, but then bites her lip and looks down.

"I can't tell you, Herc." She whispers.

"You can tell me anything. And you know that." He tells her. She sighs and nods, but doesn't make a move to leave like he expected her to. Instead she leans down and rests her head on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and breathes in her familiar scent, letting his cheek rest on the top of her head. But then she's gone. He opens his eyes and watches as her form disappears down the steely grey hallway.

Ok, he's got another thing to add to the list. And her name is Geneva Lucas. The woman is someone Herc wouldn't want on his bad side. She's the only one who would ever be able to yell at Stacker (Though she's only ever did that once and then she was sent away for a month until Stacker's blood pressure went down.) Geneva is a kind of glorified personal assistant for Stacker.

Herc had never had a lot of experience with women, besides Angela. The occasional one night stand was about it and when the war with the Kaiju's started, he didn't have time to focus on another relationship and truthfully, he didn't really want to after Angela died. But he had to admit, losing Angela had left a gap in his life. He missed not having someone there to talk to when the days were particularly hard. Or someone to hold in the small hours of the night when he needed comfort, which to him comes in just the feeling of skin against skin. Of course, he's far too embarrassed and proud to admit that he needs that.

Five years after Angela died, he met Geneva. That's when she started working for Stacker. Herc couldn't deny the physical attraction he'd felt towards her when she first arrived. She walked in with a straight back and her lips were set in a thin line. She stared at the men and woman before her, taking them in and studying them. While she did that, Herc studied her. Long dark hair, drawn back into a tight braid. Pale skin and eyes that look almost grey. She had a slim figure and was wearing a leather jacket and tight black pants with boots. But she was looking at the men and woman like she would kill someone if they even looked at her the wrong way. Herc cocked his eyebrow. This one will be interesting to watch.

At first, he thought she was one of the most demanding people he'd ever met. Even worse than Stacker. She had countless fights with Chuck. Though Herc couldn't deny that he had a lot of it coming to him. But she kept Chuck on his toes at least. He'd often had to pull his son away from the woman because he was turning red and Herc could swear there was steam coming out of his ears. But that's how she and Herc began talking. Over time, he began seeking Geneva's company. She never supplied him with fake hope that other's tried to do. She never said "It'll be alright, just wait and see." or "This will all end soon." He didn't need to hear that. He knew it wasn't true. So, instead, she would just talk to him normally, as if they were old friends going out for a drink and catching up. Eventually, they started spending nights together. He remembers the reason they started to do that...

_It was a particularly bad day, when they had lost yet another Jaeger and two pilots who had been friends to them both. He went looking for her that night and then discovered she was looking for him too. She was different that night. Her hair wasn't up, it was down and hung in messy waves around her face. She wasn't crying, she hadn't cried in years. But she looked so... Defeated. The passionate fire that was always in her eyes was gone, extinguished like a flame that's been blown out. She was leaning against the wall, as if needing support from it. Herc felt his blood boil. _

_"Stop that." he snaps, his voice harsh. _

_"Stop what?" she asks, not looking him eyes. _

_"Don't you dare give up! Not now!" he shouts at her. She jumps back, staring with him with wide eyes. _

_"There's barely anyone left, Herc. What are we supposed to do?" she asks him. _

_"Fight. Until the last bloody man! Until then, you're not allowed to give up! Do you hear me?! Don't give up on them," he shouts at her again. Everyone else can lose hope and get that defeated look in their eyes, but she can't. She just can't. The fire she has radiates on to him. If she loses it, he might too. But when he's looking at her now, she doesn't look strong. She looks like a broken little girl. He sighs and takes a step closer to her, holding out his hand. She hesitantly put her hand in his and he closes his fingers around it. "I promised you that this would end. And it will eventually, whether it's because we defeated them or we died trying. But I promised you it would end. Will you trust me? Don't give up on me. Please, kid. Please don't give up on me." he says, his voice considerably softer and calmer. She breathes out and straightens up to her usual posture. She nods and gives him a swift kiss on the cheek as an answer. That was the first night they ever spent together. They went back to her room and fell asleep in each others arms..._

Herc always marveled about how different Geneva is from Angela. Angela was kind and soft-spoken, sensitive and delicate. Geneva is of those "no bullshit" people. Angela used to smile all the time. Geneva rarely does. She does smile occasionally, but it's usually just for him. He savors those small smiles. Angela was beautiful, with tanned skin from so many years in the sun and her curly blonde hair and those bright blue eyes and her soft pink lips. Her beauty was the kind that drew you in and you couldn't look away from her. Geneva on the other hand is... Different. She's beautiful, but in a startlingly way. Her face is sharp and defined. Her eyes are cold, her lips are pale. Her hair only adds to her harsh appearance. When someone would look at Angela, they would get a feeling of warmth and comfort. When they look at Geneva, they get almost... frightened. But to Herc, she is beautiful, but in her own way. In a way that only he sees.

Ok, his list has three things on it.

1) Chuck.

2) Protecting the Earth.

3) Geneva.

o0o

Herc rolls on to his back, one arm tucked under his head. It's about 3:30am and he knows he should be getting some sleep, but he just couldn't find it tonight. But before he can try to sleep again, his door opens. He looks up, expecting to see Stacker or Chuck, but instead, there stands Geneva. Her hair is out of its usual braid and now hangs down her back in messy waves. She's wearing a simple grey tank top and black cloth pants.

"What are you doing here?" Herc asks. She's supposed to be in London, looking for some old Jaeger plans and wasn't due back till tomorrow.

"I couldn't find anything. Do you want me to leave?" she asks him. He quickly shakes his head. She walks over and positions herself around him, her legs intertwined with his and her head on his chest. He leans down and presses a kiss on her head. And a small smile spreads across her face.

He loved Angela. He really did. But he also knew that she wouldn't want him to dwell in the past and not move on. She told him that once, that if anything were to happen to her, he's not to close himself away and not allow himself to find someone else to love. So, he did what she said. Not that Geneva will ever replace Angela, but she fills in the gap Angela left behind, and she makes him smile again.

Geneva props herself up so she's staring at him with those beautiful eyes of hers, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"You're beautiful, kid." He says, almost absent-mindedly.

"You don't ever compliment me unless you're about to tell me something serious. Am I in trouble?" she asks and looks generally worried.

He snorts, brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear before continuing. "No. You're not. I just thought I should tell you if I don't get another chance."

"Don't say that."

"Geneva, you know what could happen-"

"Yes I do and that's why I refuse to allow you to say it. I don't care, Herc. You're not leaving me. I need you." She whispers. Before he can answer, her lips are on his, silencing any argument he had to make.

Once Geneva is settled on his chest, her eyes closed and her breathing steady, Herc goes over his list again.

1) Chuck.

2) Protecting the Earth.

3) Geneva.

Yup, he doesn't have a lot of things on that list of his. But perhaps, that makes him love those things so much more. Chuck is his son-who may deserve an ass kicking but he'll deal with that later-and he loves him dearly. He wants to keep the Earth, his home safe and he loves that too. And last is the woman who fights for her home, who doesn't love a lot of things either but who chooses to love him too. Sometimes when he feels the weight of his circumstances weighing down on him, he just repeats his list. Yes, he's lost things. But he has the things on his list and those things keep him alive and fighting.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hello! So with Christmas just around the corner, I decided to write a little Christmas themed chapter. Hope you enjoy!**_

Christmas was never really something Herc ever bothered with. He'd obviously been too busy with the more pressing matter of the Kaiju's. But one year, when he and Chuck had to go Tokyo, Herc was more or less forced to celebrate it.

He'd arrived at Tokyo on December 22nd and after the briefing with Stacker, he went on the hunt to find Geneva and Mako. He eventually discovered them in the rec room. He stopped and couldn't stop the sigh from releasing his lips at the sight he found. There was Mako, Geneva and Newt, standing around a small Christmas tree. Geneva was sorting through ornaments in a box and then handed them to Mako, who then carefully chose the branches to hang them on. Newt was fiddling with wires and was trying to get the little old colored light bulbs to work. Herc rolls his eyes as he watched the odd scene.

"Why do you even bother with that?" he asked them.

"Because Christmas tends to bring hope and happiness and you know as well as I do that these people need it." Geneva responded as she hands another ornament to Mako. Herc rolls his eyes again and leaves. What point is there in celebrating this stupid holiday?

However, he has to return an hour later. He was actually looking for Chuck and to his astonishment, found him in the rec room helping with the tree. Mako is instructing him on which branch to put the last ornament on. Chuch actually listens to her and doesn't even snap at her. Herc sees the way Chuck acts around Mako. The little smile that comes on his face when he sees her. Herc knows that Chuck has had many women since he has become a pilot, woman were itching to get with him. Herc sees those women when they drift- they're utterly disgusting images that he tries his best to block out. But despite all of them, Chuck still has a soft spot for Mako. But she has never shown the slightest interest in him. In fact, she thinks he's a self-centered jerk. Herc finds this ironic. Hundreds of women would have eagerly thrown themselves at his feet, but the one girl he actually cares about will never want him and never has.

Oh well, there's nothing Herc can do in this situation. He's helpless.

"Do you like it?"

Herc looks over at Geneva who's standing beside him He didn't even notice her come up. The tree is done and the lights are making it twinkle.

"Yeah. I do. Good job, kid." Herc responds. She looks up and a small smile is on her face. She only ever smiles for him. He presses a quick kiss on to her temple before leaving the rec room. It was quick and he doubts anyone noticed, but even if they did they wouldn't say anything.

Christmas arrived a few days later. There were no Kaiju threats that day and Stacker even allowed most of the personnel to have the morning free of major duties. Herc watched as some exchange small gifts, while others hugs or well wishes. He lets himself smile at the sight. Geneva was right, they did need to be cheered up a bit. Herc sees Mako rounding the corner, a little bag in one hand and Max's leash in the other. Max comes bounding after her, decked out in a-

"Fucking hell." Herc moans. Max has a large red bow stuck to his head and little bells dangling from his collar. Chuck comes around and stands beside Herc, grinning.

"Cute isn't he?" he says. Herc shoots him a glare before leaving, not wanting to look at the poor dog anymore. He wanders around a little longer before eventually finding Geneva, Newt, Tendo and Hermann in the lab. Hermann is hiding behind a thick book, refusing to take part in the festivities. Geneva had gotten Tendo a rather heinous new bow tie, a red thing covered in purple dots and a Kaiju coloring book for Newt. Herc has to hold back laughter at that one. Newt seemed to have managed to get his hands on old Christmas sweaters from what looks to be the 90's, and Tendo and Geneva are now stuffed in disgustingly fuzzy red and green wool creations. There also seemed to be one that was aimed at Hermann's head.

"Ah, Herc you're here!" Tendo says happily.

"Wish I wasn't," Herc mumbles because he sees Newt walking towards him with another sweater in his hands.

"Here I got one for you too!" Newt squeals.

"No, no I'm fine thanks!" Herc says and jumps behind one of the silver tables, using it as a barricade between him and the crazy scientist.

"Ah come on, it's not that bad," Geneva says.

"It seems that Mr. Hansen and I share the same idea on your idiotic Christmas festivities." Hermann calls from behind his huge book.

"Shut up, Hermann." Newt snaps and glares at him.

"Please put it on, Herc." Geneva says, pursing her lips together and trying to make her best "pout" face. Herc shakes his head and before Newt can come any closer, he runs out of the lab.

He manages to avoid the three of them for the rest of the day until dinner that night when Geneva manages to squeeze beside him.

"You never did put on that sweater." She states as she steals some potatoes off his plate.

"Yeah and you took yours off so it doesn't matter." he responds.

"Did you have a good Christmas?" she asks.

"Wasn't bad." he says. Geneva looks up at him, eyebrow she goes on her toes and presses a kiss in the corner of his mouth.

"Better?" she asks.

"Yeah. It is," he says, letting a small smile grace his lips. But Geneva seems preoccupied and doesn't answer.

"Have you seen Stacker?" she asks. Herc shakes his head and finds it odd that the man is nowhere to be seen. Herc and Geneva finish quickly and set out to find him, starting with his room. Herc knocks and they hear a shuffle before someone answers.

"Who is it?"

"It's Hansen and Lucas."

The door opens a moment later and Mako stands in front of them, grinning. They hear Stacker shout not to open the door, but it's too late. She lets the door swings open and there's Stacker... Stuffed into a wooly, bright red Christmas sweater, complete with little bells. Geneva's mouth drops open and Herc spits out the water he was drinking.

"You're never to tell anyone about this." Stacker says, his voice low and icy. The two of them nod and then quickly leave the room. They wait until they're well down the hallway to erupt into laughter. Stacker can threaten them all he likes, Herc's never going to forget that sight. After they've both regained their composure, Geneva straightens her jacket and flicks her hair off her shoulder.

"I promised I'd go find Newt to watch some old movie with him," she says.

Herc nods, his mouth turning down ever so slightly at the corners. "I think that kid likes you." he says gruffly.

Geneva snorts. "No I don't think he does, considering he prefers the male gender. He might have a little crush on you though." she tells him. She chuckles at the look of utter horror on his face. Before leaving, she kisses his cheek and grips his hand tightly.

"Merry Christmas, Herc." she whispers and then disappears down the hallway.

The real reason Herc doesn't like Christmas is because it reminds him too much of Angela. She used to love it so much and always try her best to make it a good one for Chuck. That's why whenever it comes around now, it's just a painful reminder of her being gone. Herc feels that familiar pain in his chest he gets when he thinks about her. No, she wouldn't want him to be sad.

List. Think of the list, he tells himself.

1) Chuck.

2) Protecting the Earth.

3) Geneva.

He repeats it to himself about ten times until that pain is gone. God, he loves that list.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi there! So I know this story is usually told in Herc's POV, but I decided to switch it up a bit because this is leading up to the ending :P I'm sorry it's so short, but I hope you enjoy :3 **_

Geneva lit the cigarette, letting the smoke fill her mouth for a long moment. She eventually breathes out, blowing the grey smoke into the air. The tears have stopped, but now her face feels stiff as the wetness begins to dry. She's on the floor, one arm wrapped around her knees. She's still shaking. Her panic attack is beginning to subside, but she cant' bring herself to move. She begins to grow angry at herself; what the fuck came over her that made her react in such away? It's unprofessional and humiliating.

Her hands are trembling and the cigarette begins to shake between her fingertips. She shouldn't even have had the attack in the first place. There hasn't been a Kaiju attack in a few days. Technically there was no reason for her to do have a panic attack. She was just standing with Newt and he started talking about how strong the Kaiju are getting and it just... Hit her. Her stomach began to knot, her throat felt like it was closing and the tears filled her eyes. It threw her into a full-fledged panic attack. She ran out of the lab so fast that Newt didn't even notice until he turned around. She kept running, knocking over several people as she did so. She hit Sasha and she knew that's going to lead to an ass kicking later. But by the time she stopped at the corridor she was shaking and tears were flowing down her cheeks. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cigarette pack, she's smoking often lately, and lit one with a trembling hand. The flame burned her fingers. She's been here for about twenty minutes now. She's still trembling.

She hears footsteps, but refuses to look at who it is. She guesses it's Stacker, come to yell at her about being more professional. But instead there's a rough hand on her shoulder and someone kneels down in front of her, lifting her chin with their fingers. She lets out a sigh when she sees those familiar green eyes.

"What happened?" Herc asks her.

She shakes her hand and raises the cigarette to her lips once more. "I don't know. Newt was talking and I just lost it. I know it was stupid and-"

Herc puts his fingers over her lips, forcing her to stop crying. "Stop that. Everyone breaks down, everyone gets scared. You're no different, love." he says quietly. He sits beside her and she curls up and buries her face into his shoulder. He takes the smoke from her fingers and throws it to the ground, crushing it underneath his boot. "Please stop smoking. I don't want those lungs of yours to turn black." he says, pressing his lips to her head. She nods and wraps on of her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her. His breath tickles her face and he wipes away the tears that had managed to fall down her face.

"Herc?" she whispers.

"Yes?" he answers.

"I think I love you." she says.

"I know."

She stays in his arms for a few more minutes. Then she's able to pull herself up to go face Stacker's anger. Herc kisses her, but stays sitting on the floor. She begins to walk away, but his voice stops her.

"I think I love you too."


End file.
